Sunday, April 3, 2011
Today we lost of our little wiener dog. He was 10 years old, he peed on the carpets and ate our underwear. He survived back surgery 2 years ago after his back legs became paralyzed and an exploratory surgery to remove lumps a year ago. This dog bounced back and was jumping up on the bed and knocking down the children to steal their food. He spent most of his time as you can see in the video with Kayleigh either snuggling by choice or in a cuddle headlock. When Kayleigh was a baby she sucked his tail, and once when she was 8 months old they laid on the floor side by side and each chewed on their toys. Just last week I put Kayleigh to bed and she fell asleep with Frodo cheek to cheek. When I was pregnant with Kayleigh I napped a lot and I napped every day with Frodo laying against my belly, even before she was born they were cuddling.
This morning Frodo woke up making funny breathing noises. We lay with him in bed, Kayleigh too and rubbed his belly and his back while he struggled to breath for about 15 min. We couldn't bare seeing him struggle so we took him to the pet hospital. After seeing the Dr. we expected to leave Frodo in the hospital to be stabilized and he would see a cardiologist on Monday. We expected to take him home Monday and for him to be on medicine for congestive heart failure and to have maybe another 6 months to two years with him. It wasn't good but it wasn't the end of the road. We said goodbye to Frodo and Kayleigh was very very upset and had hard time saying goodbye. I suspect she knew that this was her last time. On our way home the Dr. called to tell us that Frodo's heart had stopped. We took the girls home and told them....IT WAS HORRIBLE...I can't describe how awful that was. We spent he next hour in our bed with the girls looking at scrapbooks of Frodo and talking about him. All day we have all walked around numb and then start crying and talking and sharing. Kayleigh has been crying and talking a lot about him dying, heaven, where he is, is he coming back, why we die...its so hard. The poor kid has had some tough lessons this week. Kasey is handling it much better, as she doesn't understand nearly as much as Kayleigh does. I know time will heal most of this raw hurt. So we are just slowing down and loving one another and talking about Frodo. I would love to have him back peeing on my carpet and eating my underwear, I really truly would. I miss him so much. I can't get over how much this hurts. My heart hurts for Kayleigh even more. Today I searched through my pictures for pictures of him (I have scrapbooks of him) but wanted pics from my Mac. It was like I was 'looking for him'. I knew where to look....he will be there under the covers in that picture, by that blanket, in her lap...it was like finding him.