Sunday, February 1, 2009

MOM UNIVERSITY


Its official, I am a Stay at Home Mom (SAHM). Kasey is almost 10 months old and I have known for a long time now that I would not be returning to work. I made it official informing my employer at the beginning of January. So here I am thinking about what a SAHM means and I start to think about my BAH from Queen's University and how I never in my wildest dreams thought I would be a SAHM! I had always imagined myself as this Career focused mom climbing that corporate ladder. So if I had known then and could have prepared myself at university for this crazy kid life what would that have looked like? What would MOM U be like? What courses would you take?
Here's what my class schedule would have looked like:
Martha 101: learn how to cook, clean, and entertain with cool efficiency and flair.
8:00 AM Fridays (I would have regularly skipped this class, recovering from the previous Thursday night pub crawl as it happens this is where my first year chem lab fell...so not good LOL)
Supperworks Real Life Cooking: Come and cook while we do all the work and clean up
Wednesday Evenings, beverages included
Zen Master 103: practice breathing your way to a calm and balanced state in the midst of 2 screaming children, 3 hours sleep, barking cookie stealing dog and a dirty house.
Tuesdays 2:00 PM
Gym class: Pilates and aerobics to correct your sagging breast feeding boobs, your I gave birth pouch, and the love handles you use to balance baby on. Weight training to build your baby carrier carrying arm, and my 2 year needs to be carried stamina.
Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs, Fri, Sat, Sun 10:00am
Economics 113: Learn how to create a budget in quicken, not follow it and then open a line of credit. How to hide scrapbook purchases from your husband and justify the need to eat out at least once a week because you simply can not bare cooking.
Thursdays 3:00pm
Scrapbooking Masters (elective) Join Heidi, Donna, and Wilna in a scrapbooking class for the budding artist.
All day Saturdays
The Psychology of Sleep: Prepare for the sleep debt of the 3rd trimester of pregnancy, being a new mom, and having a 2 year old with night waking issues. Learn how to really NAP when your children do. Learn how to get two children on the same nap schedule, how to quiet a dog in a leg hold when the doorbell rings, and how to do the coveted PICK UP THE PHONE AND HANG UP trick to make sure your children stay asleep. Bonus material: learn how to use the lack of sleep excuse to make up for not using your hair dryer once in a year (ok 2yrs), not showering, wearing your pj pants to music class, and eating way to much chocolate.
Mondays 10:00 am
Music 101: Learn all the stupid and annoying songs that your children will love and you will find stuck in your head at 3:00am when you can't sleep.
Wednesdays 9:00AM
Computing 103: Learn how to surf multiple scrapbook blogs at once, create and UPDATE a blog, take online scrap classes, join a message board and create that dreaded budget in quicken.
Thursdays: 4:00pm
So what classes would you take? Please share in the comments :)

10 comments:

Kathleen said...

ROFL - too funny!! I dont cook (really dislike cooking....except desserts ;P) - but I'd definitely take Economics 113 - really need to learn how to hide purchases from DH!!

xx

Karen D. said...

I love this Katie!! Too funny and too TRUE!!! I am not lucky enough to be a SAHM at this time, but these are the classes I would take at MOM U!!! Oh-I was feeling guilty 'cause I thought I was the only one that did the pick-up, hang-up thing with the phone during nap time!!!

Love, Karen D. (scrappymomtn on BG)

Stay Funny said...

hihihihi
ok I'm not a SAHM, but ohhhhhhhh would I take them all... especially if your the teacher, I would have a blast for sure!
Love what I read.... great stuff miss k!
Hope you made it safe to your moms, enjoy your week with them and see you when you return!
Thanks for the great evening Friday, it's always great to see you and especially for you to stay at my place and get a few extra hours of sleep!
Hugs
Sxx

Louise Dubord said...

You are hilarious Katie! And so right! Especially that part of Economics on tricks to hide the new scrapbooking purchases from DH.ROFL - because I think we are all guilty of that one. I don't buy clothes anymore, I buy scrapbooking stuff. I don't buy stuff for the house anymore (my towels are starting to fray and look like rags), because I'd rather buy scrapbooking stuff. I don't want a new stove for the new house, because... you get it. DH is lucky I agreed to the new house in a weak moment! Mind you I will have my very own arts and crafts room...that's probably one of the main reason I agreed! I think this addiction is competing with my chocolate addiction

Sigmagirl said...

Okay, I'm soooo IN! You are a riot! I love each and every description.. you should do a page about this! I can so relate to the 3 hours of sleep and 2 kids now! Too bad we don't live closer together...

Gina de Jong said...

Oh Katie - sign me up those are some fabulous classes!!!!!!!

Missy said...

LOL This is so funny. Sign me up for your classes too. Not that I have the time being a SAHM too. In fact I am so busy eating bon bons...I don't think my schedule would allow it.
LOL

Gine !!! said...

You are to funny :lol:
sign me up for all the classes
SAHM here too...AND NO I sooo do not clean and pick up all day... heck..way to many days where 5 o'clock comes around..and all I got to was choosing the ink and paper for my next LO

Lucy Edson said...

Fabulous, Katie!! LOL - it is all so true!! I am a SAHM and as much as I love it - some days it is much harder than going to a day job! ;)

I'll be watching for the next installment!

Barb said...

Congrats on quitting that other job and taking on the most important one in the world full-time. Wooohooo! If I had been more patient, I would have totally done it. :P

Great courses you've outlined here. Thanks for the laugh.